8 Months

Well, month number eight came and went without many big changes. This month has been all about the small things. I had the nurse measure Ben when we got his flu shot a couple weeks ago, and he is 27.5 in., which means he's grown an inch since his six month checkup. I don't know his exact weight, but I think he is somewhere around 16.5 lbs. He is starting to grow out of his 6-9 month onesies and the necks are so stretched out they hang off his shoulder like he's an extra from Flashdance! I might just leave them like they are and start a new baby trend. 

Ben has always been a good eater, but he is REALLY eating a lot right now. I think he might be going through a growth spurt. I am still nursing on demand, and he eats solids 3 times a day. Right now our menus look like this:

Breakfast: Oatmeal w/ soy milk and fruit. Usually I mash up a banana or some fresh mango. This is definitely Ben's favorite meal. 

Lunch: Plain yogurt w/ fruit. I usually add whatever fruit is leftover from breakfast to his yogurt. Sometimes I add unsweetened applesauce. Just recently I've been including a leeeetle pure maple syrup. He always makes a face after the first bite of yogurt, but he eats it all. 

Dinner: Lots of veggies. We just moved up to stage 3 food, and he loves it. I figured he needed something more substantial after realizing he was downing two jars of stage 2 food in ten minutes. Not a big surprise since the main ingredient is water. Thanks baby food manufacturers! No wonder he's hungry. 

I read somewhere that individual temperament determines when babies reach their big milestones, so based on that assessment I would say that Ben will probably be a late crawler and late walker. He is so content to sit and play with a single toy, and I don't think he feels that restless. He is sitting up really well, but has had a few scares with losing his balance and falling over suddenly. Thanks to that I think it will be a while before he feels secure enough to start moving across the room. He is so determined to not have to move. Whenever he accidentally throws his toys out of reach he just sits and looks, and you can see him thinking, "hmmm.....how am I gonna solve this?" Then he looks around at any adult in the room, and then looks back and the toy, like "is someone gonna help me with this?" When no help is forthcoming, he will usually either A.) just turn his attention to something else rather than have to venture out of his comfort zone, or B.) gingerly reach his hand out, then quickly steady himself, then reach a little bit more, then......give up. Did I mention he's a very cautious baby? There is one exception to this observation and it happened yesterday. Mr. B. decided to pull himself up on Joel's leg from a sitting position to his knees, then tried to stand. Now, that in itself is not a big deal. However, later that night while I was giving him a bath he gave our kitchen faucet the once-over, and before I could blink he had used it to hoist himself out of the tub and grab a water bottle on our windowsill. It's very disconcerting when you see a baby who is normally content to just be a slug suddenly gain superhuman powers and practically jump out of the kitchen sink! 

Ben definitely understands quite a few words. I've been doing a little signing, and whenever I put my fingers together to sign "more" he flaps his arms. He probably thinks I'm an idiot, like, "No, mom! This is how we say it! Not YOUR way!" As long as we understand each other.....Right now we're working on "gentle." As in, "be gentle, don't pull Ladybird's tail." He always gives us a grin after that one. 

Here are some pictures from this month:

Ben does NOT have the Christmas spirit.

Yesterday, in the back yard.

Benjamin and Daddy.

This is his amused look. Like, "I'll humor you while you take my picture. Please don't bother me again."

Ben likes to swing his jumperoo over to the doorjamb and grab on. Then he shuffles his feet and does a little happy dance.

This is a bad day

I'm sure everybody's done that thing where you're trying to upload a picture onto your iphoto, and when the computer for some reason asks if you want to replace your iphoto library, in your sleep-deprived state you say "yes" because why not? And then you immediately panic and realize that your iphoto is COMPLETELY GONE and you accidentally trashed about 200 pictures of your baby, your sister's wedding, and your brother's wedding. And you don't know how to get them back, and you're too scared to click anymore buttons because you don't want to erase anything else. Right?

UPDATE: Hooray! After the purchase of 1 external hard drive and 1 FileSalvage download, most of the pictures are back. Just so you know, if you EVER have to use FileSalvage, not only does it recover your photos, but EVERY. SINGLE. picture you have downloaded in the computer's existence. You have been warned!

Return to me

The doorbell rings, causing Ladybird to bark LOUDLY, leading to Benjamin waking up from his morning nap. I run to the door and see the FedEx driver wave to me, jump in his truck and head down the street. Package! For me? I eagerly pick it up from the door step. 

Wrong address.

Grrrrr.

They're coming back to pick it up tomorrow, but meanwhile, I have so many questions. Like.....

Where's my package? Do I even have one? Will they come back today with a box for me, or is it lost in transit somewhere, only to be delivered 2 weeks from now?

Please FedEx. Come back.

Moving right along.....

I can't believe Rob and Annie's wedding was only a little over a week ago. Things move so fast this time of year.  Thanksgiving is over and now we're on our way to Christmas. Joel and I can't WAIT to see our families. The next trip home will be Benjamin's 4th plane trip in 8 months!

This is B. on the plane ride home from Tampa. What a little monster we created! I think this trip was the first time Ben realized he had whole roomfuls of people under his spell.  On our way through airport he kept staring at people, waiting for them to glance his way. Once they did...look out! He flashed those pearly whites and got the reaction he was looking for. 

Hmmm.....what else has been happening here? Ben is rolling over like crazy. Once he sees a toy or electric cord or a piece of paper he's determined to get to it anyway possible. Through a combination of pivoting and rolling he will usually get to where he wants to go. Several times this week I've sat him down on the floor, then turned around about a minute later to see him with a cord in his mouth, ripping up one of my magazines, or determinedly unraveling one of my rugs. His actual toys are not as interesting as the "toys" he finds around the house. I'll move him away from the object of fascination, only to see him narrow his eyes, lock his gaze, purse his lips, and start his little grunts as he moves his way across the room again.  This new phase really crept up on me. I thought I had so much more time before I had to worry about B. being mobile and baby proofing the house.  Just when I was getting used to having a little baby, he grew up! He's pushed himself up to his hands and knees a few times so far, but I don' think he realizes he could actually move that way. He's starting to get VERY frustrated when he can't reach a toy, so I think that will be good motivation for him to start crawling. Yikes! Let's not think about that yet. 

What else? Lot's of small developments. Our trip to Tampa really aroused Ben's "social butterfly" gene, so he has become much more vocal. He talks to his toys quite a bit, and he talks to people he knows. The other day we went to eat with his friend Owen (11 months) and they had a good time sitting together in the big boy highchairs and talking to one another. He also is starting to laugh at things he thinks are silly. I guess laughing isn't the right word---more like a little chuckle, or an acknowledgement that he's amused. The word "toy" gets a "heh" and a smile, as does the word "more"(said like a question). I have no idea why he thinks these things are funny. He also seems to actually know certain words, like bye-bye, Ladybird, daddy, and night-night. He usually responds to the last word with a scrunched up frown. If he could talk, he would say "nooooooooo!"  I won't elaborate on our sleep ordeal, only to say that the nighttime aspect of raising Benjamin is definitely for another looooong post that I'll write once I'm not so tired. Ha!

Other than baby, Joel and I have been working on the house. I painted our fireplace the other day (pictures to come) and we put up the tree on Sunday. Joel got up at 5 AM on Black Friday to purchase a super discounted shop vac at Lowes. Best. Purchase. Ever. We also cancelled cable a few weeks ago, which has changed our lives. All the sudden things are actually getting done. Oh! And our friend Matt is coming to visit this weekend. This month is getting pretty busy. We'll keep everyone updated!

"What is this life? How did I get here?"

One unfortunate side effect of having children is the constant worry.  I know some parents are even tempered and don't have issues with this (Joel) but it is something I struggle with every day. I was telling Joel last night that having a baby is so hard---not because of the night waking, feeding, etc.... but because of the anxiety I feel. It's miserable. Now that I'm coming out of the fog of having a baby, I'm trying to work on making myself calm and taming my ever present worry. I'm very calm when I'm around Benjamin--after all, he is pretty much under my control at all times. But I can't believe the craziness I allow my thoughts when I'm alone. The other day I decided to take a shower after B. had woken up from his nap. I normally shower when he is sleeping or I put him in his crib for a few minutes, but this day I had decided to let him play on the floor in his room. Keep in mind that his room is directly across the hall from the bathroom, and I had both doors open. Also keep in mind that I take 5 minute showers, max. I knew there was nothing on the floor he could choke on and he can't crawl or pull himself up on things, only roll from side to side. Feeling like everything was secure, I jumped in the shower. As I happily shampooed my hair, I realized I wasn't hearing any crying. Ben always cries when I take a shower because he hates being left alone. That got me started. I realized I had been showering longer that normal---probably because I didn't hear any fussing. Then the dark crazy part of my mind took over.

What's wrong? Why isn't he crying?

He found something on the floor and he's choking.

No, he can't be choking. There's nothing to choke on.

Yes he is.

He's suffocating in his blanket.

No, that's silly. He's perfectly capable of lifting his head up.

Yes he is. He can't breathe. 

OH MY GOD! IT"S TOO LATE! I CAN"T BELIEVE I"M SHOWERING WHILE MY BABY IS SUFFOCATING!!!!

Cue to me panicking, hands shaking, ripping the shower curtain aside and jumping out, running across the bathroom floor and hallway soaking wet (almost falling) nearly in tears and hysterical, only to be met with.......Benjamin calmly laying on his blanket watching the ceiling fan and talking to his stuffed lion.

Embarrassingly, this is not the first time I've had this type of reaction. On the outside, I appear perfectly normal and relaxed. No one knows I check on Benjamin about 5 or 6 times between the time he goes to bed and I go to bed. Then I like awake waiting for him to wake me up. If he sleeps past his normal time for night waking (12:30) then I tiptoe out of my room and into his bedroom, peer down at his little body and make sure he is still breathing. 

I need therapy. This is too stressful. If I continue down this path, it will most likely NOT be healthy for us. I'll be like Kate in Jon & Kate + 8, but worse....and that's a future I don't want. What do I do? At least I'm aware of the problem, and it HAS to get easier...right? I really don't want to be that mom--you know, the one calling her kids every 20 minutes when they're out with friends, expecting them to attend college close to home then insisting they come visit every weekend, wanting to know every detail of their lives....Ok, I guess I have a few years to work through these issues. 

WHEW! Writing this post made me feel anxious! I'm off to do some deep breathing exercises. 

7 Months Already!

Wednesday was Benjamin's 7 month birthday. I feel like we're in a tug of war, Mr. B. and I. We'll have 2 (or maybe) 3 good weeks when we understand each other perfectly. I'll say, "how about a nap Mr. B?" and he'll respond, "why yes, thank you ever so Mother. That would be delightful." Then we have weeks when we butt heads constantly. I don't understand what he wants, and that just makes him more frustrated. Because babies are constantly changing, every month brings a new problem or personality trait to light. Right now he is demonstrating wants and needs beyond the usual sleeping, eating, etc....If I have something in my hand he wants it, and if I take it away, he fusses. His new "trick" is arching his back and crying every time I try to put him ANYWHERE.....carseat, crib, floor, high chair, baby swing, stroller.....Usually once he's there it's ok, so I guess he's just letting me know he's not happy about it. I don't know if this is a baby thing or a Benjamin thing, but he's also getting a little impatient. When I put him in his high chair he's fine, but once I put a bib on him I BETTER have his food ready, because he's not waiting. Trays get banged, feet are kicked, crying ensues.....I mean, dude, calm down. Dinner is coming in about 30 seconds. The best is when he tries to eat his bib.....I guess he's just being REALLY dramatic and showing me how hungry he is. Funny how 2 minutes ago he was perfectly calm. I think he's putting me on. Last night we went to visit Ally and Owen, and Mr. B. was playing in Owen's exersaucer. Basically, Owen crawled over, pulled himself up and began also trying to play with the toy. The baby Benjamin I'm used to would have looked at Owen, and either let him play or moved on to something else. Not last night! Benjamin protested loudly and actually slapped Owen's hand, leading to a baby tug of war over a plush toy. I didn't know a 7 month old could act like a toddler. Right now we are also in an epic battle of wills over nap time. We used to have a quick nurse, he would either fall asleep or get very drowsy, I would put him in his crib, and that was it. My friends, those days have passed.We still have a quick nurse in the rocking chair, but he is NOT having the crib. His eyes will be red, he'll be tugging on his ears and rubbing his face.....yawning, but he still refuses to sleep. So now we're playing a new "game." I put him in the crib, he cries, I pick him up, he stops, I put him down, etc...Eventually he gets the message, and will just talk to himself or play with his animals until he dozes off. Hmmmm........hates naps, fights sleep....I don't know anyone else like that :) Here are a few pictures from this month. He is really starting to look like a little boy!  

This was taken at Grandma's house last month.

Here he is in his awesome John Deere hat that Joel's cousin Sarah gave him. Sometimes he puts it on and "helps" Joel in the yard.

This was at Grandma's house also, in his scary Halloween outfit!

I just took this one a couple days ago. He has really started to look so much older.

What was I doing again?

When I was a little girl I would frequently wake up and start my day full of unrivaled energy. I would take advantage of this state by closing my bedroom door, observing the design state of my lair, and map out a new arrangement. Using my own little body, I would then DRAG my bedroom furniture to its new designated spot...sometimes re-purposing furniture I had found in the garage. I would then clean manically, and TADA! Open my door so everyone in the family could marvel at the transformation. Well, today it finally happened. After 7 months of alternately taking care of B. and sitting around like a slug, I AM BACK! I jumped out of bed this morning with the intent of giving the ol' switcheroo to our small den. I want to move the piano where the chairs are, the chairs where the piano is, insert a coffee table, plants, magazines, gallery wall above the chairs, paint the fireplace, unload the bookcase, move the bookcase, load back the bookcase, and THOROUGHLY.CLEAN. EVERYTHING. And then triple TADA! 

Only this is what I have done so far.....

Ya'll.....I have a baby now. I think I forgot for a moment. And pianos are REALLY heavy. And.....my coffee wore off and now I'm kinda tired. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

**Why yes, those chairs were last recovered during the Nixon administration. Why do you ask?