Dear Benjamin,

While you are asleep I thought I would take this time to write you and tell you how special I think you are. Tonight, when you were crying in your crib and I walked in and picked you up and you nestled your head on my shoulder, I felt so much love. In fact, I feel so much love for you that I think that isn't even the right word. Complete. My love for you is so overwhelming that I can no longer imagine my life without you in it. You will never know how much joy you bring. I love to watch you crawl around the room, and then smile as you spy me out of the corner of your eye, turn, and come moving as fast as you can toward your mama. I love that you always look at me whenever you laugh, just to make sure I'm laughing too. I knew you would be a happy baby. The other day when you woke up from your nap and you were crying, how quickly you were relieved when I came to get you! You looked me in the eyes, sighed, and then gave me the biggest giggle! Did you know your daddy rushes home from work, just so he can see you smile and hear you laugh?

I know these days won't last forever, so I try to cherish every moment. Someday you'll be older and have friends that come first in your life. You'll be embarrassed by me, or angry, or too busy. And I know I will be the only person to remember the beauty of these days. Today I picked you up and held you so tight, and I told you how my life is full of joy because of your presence. As I hugged your tiny body, I thought about how someday very soon I won't be able to bury my face in your sweet hair or kiss your little cheeks. Already you squirm out of my lap when I want to hold you. In just a short time you will only want my hugs when you're sick or hurt, and soon after that you will want to be left alone, and much too soon after that you'll be all grown up, and far away from this time together. But for now I want to stroke your face, and rub our noses together in Eskimo kisses, (they always make you giggle) and play patty-cake, and sing songs, and dance, and make funny faces, and just BE.  You and me and daddy.....just the three of us.

Benjamin, every single day with you in it is better than the day before. I love you, my precious little man.

Love,

Mama