Bedrest and other things

Joel completed one more addition to the nursery last weekend.

Ben LOVES it. He's always been an avid reader, but now he's more likely to bring me a book to read. And it's so much easier for him to put his books back on this shelf, which means his room looks neater, which means a happier mama!

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Last week I turned 33 years old, 33 weeks pregnant, and found out I've gained 33 pounds. So....yay for me? This picture illustrates how completely the belly has taken over my entire body at this point.

Bedrest this time around has been easier than last time, but still difficult. We're blessed to have Joel's parents renting a place in town for 3 months. That means we have someone to take care of Ben, clean the house, shop for groceries and cook dinner most evenings. That's not the difficult part! The hard part is relinquishing control. It's very difficult to accept the fact that the things I'm normally in charge of are not really my responsibility anymore. It's getting easier, but it's frustrating to not really be able to take care of Benjamin.

The way my body is changing has also been difficult. Since the beginning of this pregnancy I was told I couldn't do anything overly physical. That meant no long walks or even running around outside with Ben. That lack of activity combined with bedrest means that I've gained more weight than I intended. When I am at my "normal" weight, I don't think too much about my body. I don't weigh myself, and I don't obsessively monitor my food intake. But pregnancy really brings out a side of me I wish didn't exist. I really wish I could not care. I wish I could tell myself that it's part of pregnancy, that it's normal, that I gained 40 pounds last time and lost it all and it wasn't that bad. But I can't. I am normally a thin person. I've always been thin. I have also always been very energetic--some would say I have lots of nervous energy:) Now that I'm confined to the couch all day, feeling sluggish and heavy, I'm trying to reassess how I perceive myself.

I'm saying this because I think ALL women, or at least most, think about their bodies a lot. I also think that most mothers think of themselves as irreplaceable, or imagine their families couldn't function normally without them doing the majority of the work. Pregnancy and bedrest forces you to confront all of those ideas.

I also don't feel that great. I'm not going to go into specific reasons for my bedrest, but I have a uterine abnormality that makes me high risk. Because of this physical issue, my body starts giving signs of imminent labor very early in pregnancy. I started having Braxton-Hicks contractions at 20 weeks. Since being on bedrest the contractions have lessoned but have become much more intense--almost like "real" contractions. When I started bedrest at 30 weeks I was 1 cm. dilated and about 50-60% effaced. All of this means I feel pretty uncomfortable most of the time. If I am on my feet for more than 10 minutes--like taking a shower--I start to have some pretty strong Braxton-Hicks. And let me just say, anyone who tells you these are just "practice" contractions and they don't matter is being completely ridiculous. And anyone who tells you they are painless is also being ridiculous. No, they don't make you feel like you're going to start pushing the baby out, but they're pretty uncomfortable!

I'm hoping to make it to AT LEAST 36 weeks, and 37 weeks (full term) would be ideal. I've told this to all my midwives and my high risk OB, and they have all given me the same reaction, which is to just look at me silently. We'll see!

Sorry about the long post, but I felt like it was time to let people know exactly what's going on. I strongly believe I will make it to 36 weeks this time, but I would appreciate any prayers you could send my way. Sitting around all day can lead to a lot of anxiety and I have been feeling pretty apprehensive about the next couple of weeks. Whew! That was quite an essay. Thanks for hanging in there!

Nursery Progress

When Benjamin was born at 35 weeks, I had done NOTHING in his room. Since I'd had to be on bedrest for the 5 weeks before his birth, fixing up the nursery was at the bottom of my list. I had a dresser/changing table I never got around to painting, a hand me down glider from the 70s, a crib from Craigslist and a shelving unit. Then Benjamin was born and suddenly I didn't have time or the desire to fix up his room beyond the basics. I promised myself it would be different for this baby, and so far we're making progress! Ben and his little brother will be sharing a room, and although baby #2 will be sleeping close to mama and daddy for a few months I still want their shared space to be ready by the time he gets here.

Before Ben was born we bought a used mid-century dresser off Craigslist to use as a changing table. It was completely beat up with lots of scratches and so many white rings on top that the finish was completely gone. My intent was to paint it white but that never happened. We just lived with it until that "someday" when we could fix it up. Well, 2 1/2 years later it happened!

Here's a before picture. Obviously you can't see the whole dresser, but you can see the scratches up and down the side, and the worn finish.

Joel sanded and stripped the whole thing in his shop. That was a veeeery long process:) Then he stained it a dark walnut.

Ta-Da! The finished product!

After having a couple years to think about it we decided that re-finishing the piece was better than painting since paint would have shown every single ding and scratch. Originally I had wanted to stain it a color close to the original but I'm glad we went with the darker color instead. It's still mid-century appropriate but very masculine and perfect for a boys room. The rest of the space has a lot of white so it needed a dark piece to balance it out. The signed Leroy Neiman print above the dresser is something we bought at auction 3 years ago, and it had been tucked away ever since. I finally took it to be re-framed and I'm glad it can be used in this room.

I'll post more pictures of the nursery as it starts to come together. I think it actually might get done this time!

Last week...

...we got over 20 inches of rain. Here's Ben standing in what's left of our garden. Unlike a lot of people in the area we didn't have any flooding, but we did experience some cabin fever. The beautiful fall weather this week is almost making up for the deluge.

In other news, I'm on bedrest for at least the next 6 weeks. I'm in the middle of writing a post about that and some other things so I'll have an update soon.

Happy fall!

Snapshots from preschool

Last Tuesday was Benjamin's turn to bring snacks for preschool. This also meant he got to be the "leader" for the day and sit in a special purple chair during circle time. Joel packed a camera in the snack bag and asked the teachers to take a few pictures throughout the day. It's fun to have a little snapshot of what Ben is like without us around.

Working on his art project. Immediately after bringing this particular project home he sat on the floor and painstakingly tore the shapes off. You could tell he'd been wanting to do that for a while. This particular 2 yr. old does not understand the concept of glue.

Enjoying circle time.

Waiting for his "bunny 'nacks."

"Ok, for real. Stop taking my picture now. This is getting weird." *On a side note: who picked out those yummy Annie's Honey Bunny Snacks, cheddar cheese sticks and grapes? That mom must be awesome.

'tories

Reading to my little guy is one of my favorite activities in the world. We love books in our house and Ben is no exception. Monday mornings have turned into library time for us, and Benjamin gets so excited. He bounds up the stairs to the children's department saying, " 'tories, 'tories!" I know buddy, I know. I get butterflies when I walk into the library too. So many books!

The other day I was thinking about the moment that reading finally clicked for me, and how that was the beginning of truly forming my independence away from my family and friends. I have no doubt that Ben will be an avid reader, but I have to admit some sadness about the prospect of him shutting himself away with a book like his mama. As long as he can't read by himself I still get plenty of snuggle time!

*Also, I've discovered that a baby bump is the perfect accessory for propping up my books. What a nice surprise!

Aaaah, preschool!

This is what Benjamin did when I wanted to take his picture before his first day of preschool.

Looking at the camera is probably one of Ben's least favorite activities. Probably compounded by the fact that he wasn't in the greatest mood this morning. Last night, for the first time in several months, he decided to wake up around midnight and keep us up until almost 2. I have no idea why. But it means that he slept in, (and would have slept later if mean mommy hadn't forced him to get up) had a rushed breakfast, and couldn't keep playing with his toys like he wanted. But then we got to school and he saw THIS:
And THIS:
Pretty exciting stuff when you're 2.

He was a little overwhelmed at first and didn't really want Joel and I to leave. But his teacher took his hand and started showing him around, we said goodbye, and that was it. Now I'm typing on my computer in my very quiet house. And you know what? It's pretty nice.

Boating, reading and nappy

This little boy LOVES being on the boat. As a matter of fact, I think his top three favorite activities are the boat, reading stories and napping. Looks like he's headed for a life of leisure!

It's been a while since I did a Benjamin update so I thought I'd get everyone up to speed.

Ben is still a pretty easy kid: good eater, good sleeper, good at sharing his toys, etc...Little boys who know how to entertain themselves sure are a blessing for pregnant mamas! It still surprises me when he does things that seem very little boy, as opposed to baby. He likes to watch tv stretched out on his stomach with he chin resting at the armrest of the couch. How does he know that's what little boys do? Now that he's 2, he's also developing a bit of a contrarian streak. Here is a recent conversation to illustrate:

(In the car and an ambulance goes driving by with the siren and lights flashing.)

Ben: HOT! HOT! ( This is what he calls fire trucks.)

Me: It sounds likes a fire truck, doesn't it? But it was an ambulance.

Ben: No. No. Hot.

Me: Um.....I'm pretty sure it was an ambulance, because it was white and didn't look like a fire truck, remember?

Ben: NO! NO! HOT!

Me: Ok. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Ben: Yes.

He's also insistent that ALL construction implements are backhoe loaders and gets very annoyed when you point out, say, a bulldozer. Or an excavator. Or a dump truck. I should just keep my mouth shut.

Other things about Benjamin:

Whenever we see a construction sight, delivery truck, airplane, helicopter or anything else transportation related, Benjamin puts his palms up in the air and asks, "guys?" That means, "where is everyone? What are they doing?"

Sometimes out of nowhere he just feels like crouching down like a sumo wrestler and stomping around the room while breathing noisily through his nose. Is he pretending to be a dinosaur? Who knows. I never get an answer for this.

Even though we read to Ben ALL THE TIME, I've never worked on letter recognition unless he asks. I feel like 2 is way too young to start that type of activity. But the other day he pointed to the logo on Joel's swim trunks and said, "S-P-E-E-D-O." I'm proud. But enough of the bragging, since I hate it when other moms do it:) But can I just mention that I don't think it's enough to just read to your children? Benjamin sees Joel and I reading on a daily basis, and I know that has to have a huge impact.

Almost every stuffed animal in our house has a band aid stuck somewhere. I must be a very bad housekeeper because Ben's animals are always getting thorns stuck in their paws that subsequently need to be removed. It's either that or another stuffed animal bites them, which also seems very negligent on my part. I'm going to have to buy an extra large supply of band-aids at Costco to keep up with these multiple injuries.

Ben's favorite game is called "nappy." This is when he drags his blanket and pillow behind him, chooses a spot (usually the couch) and commands, "mommy, daddy, nappy!" This means we're supposed to drop everything and relax while Ben tucks us in. That's it. That's the whole game. I'm not gonna lie....it's pretty awesome.

We have a big few weeks ahead of us. Starting preschool and transitioning to a big boy bed are coming up soon! Plus I'll write a post updating everyone what's new with baby #2!